


Buttered Biscuit

by The Monster Lady (VisceraNight)



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But Jaskier Gets On Board With It Pretty Quickly, Crack, Episode: s01e05 Bottled Appetites, F/M, Humor, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23833768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/The%20Monster%20Lady
Summary: Yennefer decides to seduce Jaskier into using his last wish for what she wants. (Unfortunately he's not the one with the wishes, but hey it was a good try. And the seduction works.)
Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Kudos: 16





	Buttered Biscuit

**Author's Note:**

> My brain decided to write this instead of any of the other things I'm already working on. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

~ Buttered Biscuit ~

Upon waking up next to a half-naked woman, of course Jaskier's first assumption was the obvious one.

"Did we...?"

"Not yet," Yennefer replied with a smirk, slinging a leg over the bard's hips to straddle him.

"Now, about your final wish," she said as she lowered herself into his lap.

"Yes, about that," he said, his voice trembling with fear even as his body responded favorably to her actions.

"Mmm," she moaned theatrically, grinding down on him.

Jaskier gasped, his hands instinctively clutching at her hips as his own hips bucked up in response to her movements. There were still several layers of fabric separating their intimate parts, but the sorceress was riding him so well that Jaskier didn't care if he blew his load in his pants. (And as one who cared very much about his clothes, that was really saying something!)

Yennefer slid her arms around his neck and leaned close to whisper in his ear, "Now about that _wish_."

"What... what about it?" Jaskier managed to gasp out.

A trickle of fear managed to slip through the haze of sexual pleasure clouding his mind.

Yennefer paused to nibble the tender flesh of the bard's earlobe, before entreating, "Wouldn't you like to use it to help me?"

 _Oh. Well, that's not as horrible as some of the things I thought she might say_ , he thought. To her, he said, "Help... what?"

"Repeat after me: 'I wish Yennefer had her womb back.'"

And then she slid one hand between their bodies, moving clothing out of the way so that she could mount him properly.

As her slick folds enveloped him, all thoughts and opinions of his own flew out of Jaskier's head. The only thing he could think of was giving this lovely sorceress exactly what she wanted.

"I wish Yennefer had her womb back," he repeated.

Nothing magical happened, unless the fairly decent and perfectly synchronized climaxes the pair experienced shortly afterward counted.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> BONUS ENDING:
> 
> Geralt arrived, throwing open the door of the bedroom, shouting, "Wait, _I'm_ the one with the wishes!"
> 
> "Oh, so that's why it didn't work," Jaskier murmured tiredly from underneath Yennefer, having just gone a second round with her.


End file.
